Dear Amara

Dear Amara, It’s been just four days since your social media break, and I miss you greatly. How is my boy Chibuike and your husband, our Jay? Nne’m, I have gist for you.

My husband, Dr. Obeten, is just an inch away from becoming a pastor. Do you see his head? He scrapes it bald and empties two palmfuls of Soulmate hair cream on it. Then, when he steps on the altar and stands by the chandelier, his skull reflects the ceiling lights and enunciates his facial features boldly. I am forced to think, every dark, tall, and handsome man should go bald.

By my calculations, he would jump from being a dedicated brethren who works in the tech department, skip deaconship, and go straight to becoming a pastor. He seems to be very serious about it. Last night, we woke up to pray for a brother who’s going through some crisis. It was 3:00 a.m., that time of night when your sleep is drifting into sweetness, your consciousness is gone, and life feels like you have a big pant that you have to secure to your waist with your left hand while you jump about with friends, building mud houses, and playing hide and seek. No regular brethren would sacrifice coupling up with his wife for such intercessory ministry.

Amy, I see myself as a near-future mummy G.O. Okay, maybe not G.O.-G.O., but at least an assistant pastor’s wife. Not like the regular ones I meet at conferences with baggy dresses and a silent love for dull colors and poor color coordination. I want to be the kind that inspires teenagers to righteousness, wears some stilettos, and marches the devil on his head with my heels, with a face beat that speaks of grace, intellect, and strength. Omooooo!

My husband loves the Lord, and his heart is out in service to Him, but he doesn’t see what I see. Our pastor thinks he will do well in shepherding a flock and has asked him to register for the pastoral course. But the man I am married to shies away. He says his ministry is backstage, arranging and setting up for service, and interceding for the church, the brethren, and our pastors. I see him ready in a blazing suit to take on nations and slay kingdoms with me on his side. My koi-koi shoes and pleated skirts are ready for the day he answers the call. I think my ministry is to become a mummy G.O., a wife to the pastor, a mother to the brethren, and a great support to teen girls and boys alike.

Until then, I will keep serving in the choir and honing my skills for the day the office of mummy G.O. becomes available to me.

Don’t laugh too much when you read this, and don’t bother advising me, nne. Give all my love to Chibuike, and roll some remnants on you and our Jay.

Love, light, and Bible stories.